Since I last wrote, I was cigarette free for four months and then I came back..... with a vengeance by it seemed.

It felt like I was doing it again for the first time in more ways than one, I remember one time I lit up and everything just melded in with the background, I cannot recall what was running through my mind, I just remember the feeling of serenity. Kinda like when people tell me about their grass smoking experiences.

As I sit and write this I come to a realisation that I am a smoker, and will be one for the foreseeable future.

If from the paragraph above you think that I’ve given up the fight, no I haven’t. I’m just accepting that it’s been and is hard giving up this darn habit, for a creature who suffers from OCD, giving up obsessions is hard, giving them up when they’re addictive feels next to impossible.

I will beat this, hopefully sooner rather than later.
Peace.